From 1956 until 2001 there was a tv show that ran called “To Tell the Truth.”
The show included a panel of celebrities asking questions to three guests all claiming to be the same person who had accomplished some great feat or task or had some unusual claim to fame.
In asking the questions the celebrities were trying to decipher which of the three was being truthful.
One of the guests was telling the truth and the other two were doing their very best to fool the celebrities by pretending to be someone they were not.
At the end of the segment each celebrity would guess which of the three they thought was the truthful guest.
When all the votes were in the host of the show would say, “Will the real (insert name here) please stand up?”
The guests would look at each other and the imposters would pretend to be the real person and act like they were getting up before the truthful person would stand often to a surprised reaction by the studio audience and the celebrities.
Many years ago I did a DISC training class with a staff of people in a non-profit organization.
DISC is a behavioral profile designed to help people better understand themselves as well as those they work with on a daily basis.
At the end of the ½ day of training people were excited to be able to communicate better with their co-workers and looked forward to being able to accomplish more as a team.
After everyone had left and I was finishing packing everything up in the training room one of the participants came back in and we were the only two in the room.
She was a short woman, probably barely over five feet tall. She had gray, short hair and was probably approaching her mid-50s.
She began to cry. She tried to gather herself but the tears just flowed. I told her not to rush anything and to take her time.
After a few minutes she composed herself enough to say through her diminishing tears, “You’re the first person in my life to tell me it’s okay to be me.”
She went on to tell me about her father’s expectations for her and how she did her best to be what he wanted her to be but it didn’t work very well because it wasn’t who she was.
She told me about how her husband and her children always teased her about some of the behaviors she exhibited that were typical of the style she had scored on the assessment.
She said she always laughed along with them but deep down it hurt. She tried to be more like she thought they wanted her to be but it was difficult because it wasn’t who she was at her core.
She asked if she could give me a hug. As she did she told me, “I can’t tell you how good this makes me feel, to know that I’m okay.”
It was as if I had told her that day, “Will the real Mathilda (not her real name) please stand up? It’s time to stop being an imposter and playing the role of someone else!”
On some level many, if not most, of us wrestle with trying to be someone we think we should be or that we think others want us to be.
The voices in our heads from parents, coaches, teachers, bosses, friends create a script that we live by but often make us feel out of sync with who we really are.
Because we are afraid to disappoint others or let them down or simply don’t know anything different we continue to live in the world created for us by others.
It takes great courage to begin to explore whether or not what the messages and voices have told us is true or false.
Do you have the courage to begin that exploration?
If so, here are a couple of places to start. I am a big fan of Dr. Brene Brown and I would highly recommend her books, Daring Greatly or Rising Strong. I would also recommend you watch her twenty minutes TED talk on vulnerability. You can find that here.
Will the real YOU please stand up? The world needs you!
Ephesians 2:10
Have a STRONG and COURAGEOUS day!
Good post Dave. Dr. Brown’s books and talks are both illuminating and encouraging. I also highly recommend that folks get a taste of what she has to offer. Very affirming and refreshing.
Thanks, Scott. Her material is powerful and honest. She has had a great impact on my life!
RIGHT ON!!! Fantastic post Dave.
Thanks, Anthony! I appreciate your support!