“I’m afraid people will judge me.”
Those were the words of a lady I met with recently who wanted to visit with me after hearing my message on Cultivating Courage.
I asked her what would people specifically judge her on.
As a bit of background this woman has a desire to start a business to help people regarding very specific challenges they might be facing.
The next words out of her mouth were, “What if I’m too old, what if they don’t like me, what if I embarrass myself, what if I fail?”
Over the last four to five years one of the biggest challenges facing people wanting to lead more courageous lives is the “What If” syndrome.
Unfortunately, I can relate all too well with those I’ve visited with suffering from this malady.
I worry about what others think. I worry about being judged. I worry about failing. I worry about being good enough.
Overcoming the “What If” syndrome is what courage is all about. It’s about moving forward in spite of what others think. It’s about being willing to disregard the judgment of others.
Virtually 100% of the time I worry about what others think it’s always negative.
The reality is, though, most often, I don’t really know what others think. I’m only assuming they are thinking that I’m a lousy speaker, that I don’t have a message with any value.
No one has ever told me any of those things. Not even once.
Why is it that we always go to the negative when we think about people judging us?
Another reality for me is that people are telling me the exact opposite of how I feel others are judging me. They are glad I’m challenging them to live more courageously.
I am going to be judged. You are going to be judged. The judgments of others are none of our business.
Courage is about moving forward in spite of the judgment and the fear. It’s about recognizing this isn’t anyone else’s journey. It’s your journey.
Back in 1975 a guy named Gary Dahl came up with an idea for a product.
Truth be told, if I had been a friend of Gary’s back in the day I would have judged him. I would have told him that his idea is one of the stupidest ideas ever.
I would have told him he’s going to fail and embarrass himself. I would have told him that he would be laughed at for generations.
I’ve got to believe all of the above, and more, happened to Gary.
Gary was a courageous guy. He didn’t ask himself, “what if.” He didn’t care about the judgment of others. He didn’t care if he might fail, or embarrass himself, or look stupid in the pursuit of his dream.
Gary did it anyway.
Gary Dahl is the inventor of the pet rock. Gary sold 6 million dollars worth of pet rocks in 1975 and 1976. That’s the equivalent today of 26 million dollars.
Gary didn’t worry about the negative “what ifs.” Gary only thought about the positive “what ifs.”
I believe Gary asked himself, “What if my idea works?” It did.
Here are some other realities: you will fail, you will embarrass yourself, you will be judged.
Do you have the courage to not worry about the judgment of others?
Do you have the courage to embarrass yourself or fail?
What if your idea or dream or story or whatever can make a difference for someone but it never happens because you’re afraid?
Gary didn’t care what others thought and neither should you and I.
“What if I fall? Oh, but my darling, what if you fly?” Erin Hanson
John 14:27
Have a STRONG and COURAGEOUS day!
Every night before you go to bed look into the bathroom mirror, deep into your own eyes, and say, “I like you, I like you, I like you.” Say it ten times like you really mean it. When you like yourself you won’t care whether others like you or not.
Good advice, Ron. As we discussed it seems awkward to do this but it has to help!
ANOTHER wonderful blog on one of life’s simple negatives….doubt! Not to steal anything from Ron Ross below, but I remember back in the 60’s, taking a sales class and having the teacher comment that getting in front of a mirror and repeating “I am Happy, I am Healthy and I Feel Terrific” was on way to overcome negativity…it does work! Dave, you continue to be one of those people that can find life’s issues and give us all a reminder of how little they really matter in the Big Picture! Blessings!
Craig, I’m always amazed at how critical people are of themselves, me included! I’m working on embracing the positives and not dwelling on the negatives! Thanks for your continued engagement with my blog, Craig!
I prayed this very morning for courage from God for my day and really my life. Struggling, my fear feels like a straight jacket and I want it off! And then I find this blog post in my inbox. Please know that God is using your words to heal and make a very real difference. God bless you!
Thank you for your kind and encouraging comments, Holly! I’m glad my post was an encouragement to you. Fear affects all of us but we rarely talk about our fears with anyone. God calls us to live life courageously knowing that he will be with us always. Joshua 1:9 Blessings to you and your family!