Have you ever avoided doing something because it was unpleasant to you?
I think we can all say that we have done that at one time or another.
Has anyone else paid a price because of your avoidance of that unpleasant task?
For several years in my corporate days I managed sales people. A big part of this role required me to travel to the home cities of my direct reports.
I would ride along with them as we made sales calls. My role was to observe them and how they presented our products as well as how they interacted with customers and prospects.
While I enjoyed the business aspects of these rides what I really enjoyed the most was the opportunity to get to know the people I was working with.
We would usually be together for seven to nine hours over the course of an average day. You can learn a lot about people in that amount of time.
It was a new week and I was headed to the airport to ride with a new sales representative who had just recently joined our company. I had met him a week or two before at our week long training program so I knew just a little bit about him, mostly on a professional level.
I arrived at his hometown airport, he picked me up and off we went to start making sales calls.
As usual, the conversation between sales calls for most of the day revolved around our products, his early understanding of them and any questions he might have.
After each sales call we would review the call and discuss the pros and cons and answer more questions.
As we were getting closer to the end of the day I asked him if he had any plans for that evening.
He told me he was taking his four year-old son fishing.
Up to this point, we hadn’t shared much personal information.
I was a bit surprised that he had a four year-old son. He was about my age and I was probably close to 50 when this happened.
I asked him if he had other kids.
He told me he was in his second marriage. This was his only child in this marriage but he had two adult children from his first marriage. The mother of his four year-old was about twenty years younger than he was.
We pulled into the parking lot of our final stop for the day. We discussed our strategy and went in.
When we came out we reviewed the conversation with our prospect as he drove me to my hotel. Nothing more was said about his personal life.
He picked me up early the next morning as we had a little bit of a drive to our first appointment. Initially, our conversation revolved around our upcoming day. How many set appointments did we have, how many cold calls were we going to make, were there going to be any opportunities to close business today?
When there was a bit of a break in the conversation I asked him how fishing had gone the night before.
To say his answer shocked me was an understatement.
“We didn’t catch anything,” he said. “We never do. We go down and sit on the banks of the river. He brings his fishing pole and I bring a book. I never put any bait on his hook because then I don’t have to mess with any fish. I did that with my other kids when they were younger and I’m just too old to do that now.”
SAY WHAT?!
“He caught a fish with his grandpa when he was about two but he doesn’t really know why he caught a fish. He enjoyed that and wants to go all the time so I take him.”
“As he gets older he’s getting smarter though. He sees other people fishing around us and they are catching fish. He’s starting to ask questions as to why he never catches anything. I guess I’m going to have to start putting some bait on his hook,” he said with disgruntled tone.
I remember not knowing at all what to say to this guy. I was in stunned silence.
That story is embedded in my memory. Over the years I have sat in great judgment of this man for his lack of engagement with his young son.
The story has also become a great reminder for me of times when I have not engaged in life because I found something disgusting, boring or not too my liking.
Grandchildren are teaching me I can get great joy out of something by watching others enjoy it even if I don’t.
When one of my daughters was about nine or ten, she wanted something called an icosidodecahedron for Christmas or her birthday.
I thought it was a stupid idea and I believe I used those very words in my verbal explanation of why she didn’t get that gift.
When she speaks to me my daughter tells me she and her therapist are still working through that one.
Here’s the bottom line: It’s not about me and what I think and it’s not about you and what you think if you act like me or fisherman dad.
The same principle holds true in all relationships: spouse, kids, co-workers, clients. Life is not about you!
Have the courage to engage in life with others even if you don’t like it!
Philippians 2:3
Have a STRONG and COURAGEOUS day!
WOW, I would have to guess you could have written a whole lot more on this one, right Dave? My one thought is this, at least this guy spent time with his son, and it would appear his son enjoyed that time, so bait or no bait, there is a lot of “good” represented here. Just wondering, how good a salesperson was he for your firm? You certainly continue to hit some central nerves of us all in your blogs and I never miss a chance to read and enjoy the next one. Blessings!!
Craig, you are right. He is spending time with his son. In being with him as he told me this story his facial expressions and verbal tone indicated to me that it was more out of obligation than anything else. That’s highly judgmental on my part but that is what I took away. He wasn’t a very good salesperson and, not surprisingly, didn’t last very long! Blessings to you as well. I pray your strength is back and you are living large again!