As I read the e-mail I began to feel it immediately.
The e-mail came from a prominent business magazine. I’m sure the majority of you would be very familiar with this magazine.
I was being invited to be part of an invitation only group.
As the feeling began to take hold the voice in my head began to speak as well.
“Must be some kind of mistake.”
“They send those to everybody.”
“You’re not qualified for that.”
“Don’t they know you’re a fraud?”
The feeling is a feeling of unworthiness. It’s a feeling I’ve wrestled with for most of my life.
I’ll play dime store psychologist for a minute.
For me, I believe this feeling of unworthiness comes from my own misunderstanding of my Christian faith and the teachings of the Bible.
I believe it comes from a misinterpretation of messages I received from my parents growing up.
I believe it comes from a variety of other areas of which I have no knowledge or understanding.
I remember feeling this way when my high school basketball coach called me into his office and told me he thought I had the ability to play college basketball.
I remember feeling this way when I was asked and strongly encouraged to apply for a prominent position within an organization for which I worked.
It’s a feeling I get now when I get asked to speak to companies or organizations for which I feel I am not ready or good enough.
The difference for me now when I get e-mails like the one I received last week or get asked to speak to larger companies compared to my coach or the job application is I am aware of the feeling.
When I feel it now I recognize it and courageously fight against the feeling.
Before, when the feeling would come, I would quickly and easily give in to it and to the voice that said, “They’ve made a mistake. You’re not good enough or smart enough or …..”
I’m working on not giving in to the feeling or the voice anymore.
I believe courage and worthiness go hand in hand. Courage is stepping into the unworthiness.
I used to think I was the only person who had these feelings of inadequacy and not being good enough.
The reality is these feelings are rampant.
More and more we’re coming out of the closet because of people like Dr. Brene Brown. Her Ted talk on The Power of Vulnerability is a must watch.
Recently, I was watching the documentary on The Eagles on Netflix.
They showed a clip from the ‘70s of Don Henley as he said, “The fact was the success of the first album scared the hell out of us. Why me instead of some guy down the street you, you know. Why me instead of some friends of mine who are just as good of musicians as I am. Why me and not them.”
The scene changes to Don Henley speaking, I would guess in 2012 or 2013 based on the release of the documentary.
“Success can be just as frightening and disconcerting as failure. Especially when you have questions about your own worthiness and your abilities.”
I used to think that the people we see on stage, on the field, on the screen or whatever venue got there without any fear or challenge. They got all the talent and all the breaks and were never afraid or never felt unworthy.
The more I get to learn the back story of people like Don Henley and the Eagles the more I realize they went through, and often continue to go through, the same experiences as the rest of us.
Courage is about embracing the opportunities and not listening to the feelings and the voices.
Courage is about recognizing that you might fail but that you might also succeed.
Courage is about recognizing that your journey might make a difference for someone else.
I’ll be visiting this week with the people at the magazine.
What will you do courageously this week?
“So often in time it happens, we all live our life in chains, and we never know we have the key.” The Eagles, Already Gone
Matthew 6:33
Have a STRONG and COURAGEOUS day!
