It had been a busy morning. I had made three stops to visit or find three different people.
My first stop was at our church. I was dropping off a book for a lady who had a Bible study that began at 9:15. At about 9:10 I was looking into the room filled with about 15-20 women. To get into this particular room you had to step down two steps. I stayed on the top step peering down in search of this particular person.
I wasn’t there long when I was noticed. Many of the ladies in the room I knew. One of them asked me if they could help me. I told them who I was looking for and if she was part of this group. They assured me she was but wasn’t there yet. I thanked them and went on my way.
There was one other stop I needed to make in the church. Before I did though, I thought I would check the parking lot to see if the woman had arrived. Sure enough, there she was, just getting out of her car. I brought her the book and chatted for just a moment or two knowing she was on her way to a meeting that was getting started shortly.
I proceeded to head back into the church office to visit briefly with one of the staff. As I stood in his doorway, I leaned against the doorframe as we chatted. My hands were in my pockets as I jingled a little change in one and pushed the door lock button on my keys in the other. After about five minutes I’d gotten the information I needed and was on my way.
One more stop at a local store and I could head home to get some work done there.
As I entered the store I ran into an acquaintance. We visited for a few moments and then I headed to get what I needed. Item secured, I headed to the checkout. The clerk was pleasant, the transaction was completed and I was off.
When I got home I headed downstairs to my office. As I sat down in my office chair I leaned back to process through what the rest of the day would look like. In doing so, I glanced down to my lap.
What I saw in that quick glance down made me cringe and laugh at the same time. My fly was wide open. Not just a few teeth open but wide open. Quickly, I began to process through all the familiar faces I had seen on my excursion out of the house.
During this processing I imagined all the ladies from the Bible study having a quick chuckle as I left the room. I imagined someone saying, “Oh, how embarrassing. Someone should tell him his zipper is down.”
I imagined the lady I gave the book to smiling and thinking to herself as I walked away, “Maybe I should have told him but I was too afraid I would embarrass him.”
I imagined the man from the church office telling his wife when he got home that night, “Dave Cornell stood in my office door and visited with me today with his fly WIDE open. I wonder when he realized it was open. I should have said something but I was afraid it would be too embarrassing for him.”
I imagined the store clerk going to her co-worker as I was leaving the store. She whispered to get her attentions, “Come here. See that tall guy going out the door. His zipper is WIDE open. Not just a little bit but WIIIIIDE open. I thought about saying something but that would have been way to awkward.”
Now, it’s likely that not everyone noticed my faux pas for the day. One of the advantages of being 6’7” is that everyone is always looking up at you and something like that could be missed.
However, I’ve got to believe that someone noticed it and chose not to say anything. Please know I’m not mad or upset with any of these folks. If someone had told me right away I wouldn’t have been able to post this blog! I’m sure many of them have been in the same situation and, because of my advancing age, I’m sure I’ll be there many more times as well.
When we keep these little indiscretions to ourselves we put the other person in a continual compromised position.
So, why are we hesitant to speak up in these kinds of situations?
It’s uncomfortable for us to talk about with someone else. We’re afraid we’ll embarrass them. It embarrasses us to tell them. So we say nothing and allow the poor soul to continue the show they’re putting on without even knowing it.
The same thing happens when someone comes out of the public bathroom stall with a strand of toilet paper stuck to the bottom of their foot. I once saw a man following a lady down a concourse trying to step on her tail of tp to avoid the embarrassment of telling her. It was like a comedy skit as he would try and step on the dragging white sheets she would step forward just before his foot hit the mark.
Yes, it takes courage to bring up uncomfortable topics with others. Next time you see someone with the gates open have the courage to let them know. You don’t need to make a grand announcement. Simply have a quick chat to let them know. They’ll be glad to you did! Wouldn’t you be if the tables were turned?!
Do you need a speaker for an upcoming event? I’d love to be that guy. You can reach me at dave@cultivatecourage.com or 952-200-7499.
You can now buy the book “Cultivate Courage” on Amazon!
