Yesterday, Sunday, May 3, was a milestone in my life. I turned sixty years old.
Truth be told, I never thought I would celebrate a 60th birthday or even a 50th.
You may know from reading previous posts that my dad died very suddenly from a heart attack when I was 14 years old. He was 52.
I never knew my grandfather on my dad’s side because he died young as well.
As I approached my 50th birthday I often would go to bed at night and wonder if I would wake up in the morning.
Sometimes the messages we receive in life are verbal and other times we create those messages on our own based on our experiences.
Dave will die young because his dad died young and his grandfather died young.
As a result of this message I made many decisions during the course of my life based on what might happen.
I thought about not getting married because I didn’t want my wife to go through what my mom went through. I did get married but I never told my wife about my fear of dying young until I was in my early 50s.
I thought about not having kids because of what might happen to them if they experienced what I did as a young teen.
I remember being a youth leader at a church we attended and being on a retreat in the winter. We had the opportunity to do a polar plunge. They cut a big hole in the ice and people jumped in and got right out.
I didn’t do it because of what might happen. I was sure the cold water would give me a heart attack and I would die right there.
Sure, I went ahead and did those things but always wondered if they were the right thing to do because of “what might happen.”
At this point you may be thinking, “this guy’s nuts and really needs to talk to someone about this.”
You are right on both counts. I am a little nuts and I have spoken about this to someone. Often. Professionals.
Now, before you start to say so yourself, “I’m sure glad I’m not like that guy” recognize this, many people live in the “world of what might happen” but just haven’t realized it yet or are unwilling to admit it.
I know people who:
Won’t fly because of what might happen
Won’t commit to a relationship because of what might happen
Won’t leave toxic relationships because of what might happen
Won’t change jobs because of what might happen
As adults won’t stand up to their parents because of what might happen
Get taken advantage of because they won’t speak up because of what might happen
Won’t… you fill in the blank
When I was 52 I decided to challenge the law of what might happen.
My brother and sister-in-law do a lot of triathlons and they had been “encouraging” me to do one with them.
In my family “encouragement” is really an exercise in seeing how much we can ridicule and shame someone into doing something. Yes, I know that’s not all that healthy either but that’s for another blog post.
I finally relented and decided to do it knowing, or at least thinking, it might be last hurrah. You can read about that here.
You may not believe this but I actually went into the event thinking I would die during the triathlon.
It didn’t help that just a couple of days before the race my brother told me about a guy who had actually died during the event the previous year. Yikes!
At this point, I still had never told anyone about my fear of “what might happen.”
Obviously, I survived. My fear of “what might happen” never materialized.
Over the last several years as I have strived to live more courageously I have found, more often than not, that what I fear might happen rarely, if ever, materializes.
Crazy and tragic things can happen to us even when we perceive ourselves to be safe. Read this sad article as one example.
Even when it does materialize I have survived. I have learned lessons. I have gotten great stories.
Slowly, I am beginning to recognize “the world of what might happen” as a world of possibility rather than a world of fear.
Do you live in the “the world of what might happen?”
Are you willing to admit it?
What courageous steps are you going to take today to stop living in the fearful “world of might happen” and begin to live in the possibility “world of what might happen?”
Proverbs 3:5-6
Have a STRONG and COURAGEOUS day!
I’ll give you a “What Might Happen”: You might live to be 100-years-old and over the next 40 years bless thousands of people with your message of courage. Now wouldn’t that be something!
Ron, that is looking at the world of possibility rather than the world of fear. You are so right and that is exciting! It could happen!