“Living in regret robs you of your confidence.”
This is the first line in a quote on parenting from a guy for whom I have the greatest respect, Paul David Tripp. Tripp is a pastor, conference speaker and author of many books of which I would recommend them all. I’ll share the rest of the quote in just a bit.
Because of the work I do on courage there are a few words that immediately grab my attention and make me listen even closer. Regret is one of those trigger words. This quote from Paul Tripp came from my pastor on Sunday morning as he preached on the role of parents in the lives of their children. You can listen to the sermon here.
Now, I realize that not all of my readers are people of the Christian faith as I am. That being said I encourage you to hang with me through at least the first part of the post.
At this point, I’m going to give you another portion of the quote beginning with the opening line which I quoted to begin this post:
“Living in regret robs you of your confidence. Living in regret renders you timid. Living in regret kidnaps your courage. Living in regret weakens or steals your hope. Living in regret drags the past into the present. Living in regret even drags the past into the future.”
My pastor very clearly outlined that this was a quote on parenting. As you get to the end of the quote later on you’ll see that Tripp mentions the quote is about parenting as well. As I listened to the quote and the sermon I took it to heart as a parent and a grandparent. It was a little more convicting than I liked but that’s on me and not on my pastor nor on Tripp. In processing the quote and the message as a parent I also became keenly aware that these words are so true for leaders as well. In another time in my life I was a leader of people. In reviewing my regrets as a parent I also began reviewing my regrets as a manager.
As I’ve worked with many managers and leaders in my courage work I have found holding people accountable is a big challenge for many. We fear their reactions, we don’t look forward to the paper work of accountability, we want people to like us. Often I didn’t hold my children accountable just as I didn’t with the people I led. It’s easy to justify and rationalize letting people off the hook because it’s just easier to do that whether it’s your kids or your employees.
So, what’s the price of regret and of lack of accountability? People don’t respect you. People don’t trust you. People don’t have the opportunity to grow into their potential. Your clients suffer. Your company suffers. Others begin to act the same way. You create an unhealthy culture in your workplace.
You lose your confidence. You become timid. Your courage is kidnapped. You lose hope.
Accountability is just one example of regret. I’m sure you can think of others that have occurred in your life and leadership.
It takes great courage to admit our mistakes and our regrets. It takes even greater courage to begin to correct the errors of our ways. Facing those regrets will be difficult. Sometimes we simply can’t do anything about those regrets. Sometimes we can.
Is there something you are regretting today that you can begin to change? Do you have the courage to begin that journey today?
For those living in regret there is another avenue for facing those regrets. Tripp shares that in the last portion of the quote:
“And for all of its remembering, regret can be tragically forgetful. What is it that regret tends to forget? Regret tends to forget the cross of the Lord Jesus Christ. On the cross, Jesus bore the entire burden of our guilt and our shame. On the cross, Jesus purchased, by the shedding of his blood, our complete forgiveness: past, present, and future. This means that we can boldly come to him in our failure, receive his forgiveness, deposit our regret at his feet, and move on to new and better ways of doing what he has called us to do as parents.”
I wish you less regret and greater courage in your journey to being a better parent and a better leader!
Have a STRONG and COURAGEOUS DAY!
Looking for a speaker for an upcoming event? I’d love to be that guy. You can reach me at dave@cultivatecourage.com or 952-200-7499.
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