It was the first day of school in September of 1963. I wasn’t 6’7” like I am today but I was certainly proportionately taller at that age to the average size third grader.
In August we had moved from Nebraska to Minnesota. While I wasn’t the most studious of kids I loved the start of school because I got to hang out with my friends all day long. I didn’t feel that way that year because I was one of “the new kids.” I had yet to meet any new friends.
The day didn’t start out very well. When I walked into the room I found my assigned seat. I didn’t fit in the desk. My long legs banged into the little cubby area under the laminate top flat surface. The teacher pushed the intercom button and called the office asking for a custodian to come to the room. I removed all of my new school supplies and placed them on the window ledge while the custodian went and got a fourth grade desk. Seemingly, everyone was staring at me. That didn’t fit either. He came back with a desk from the 5th grade desk supply and I was all set.
Finally, it came time for lunch. I watched all the other boys as they quickly ate their sack lunches and ran out to the playground. I ate quickly as well as I tried to figure out the routine in my new surroundings. As I slowly went outside the boys were playing ball tag and I went and joined in. No one ever threw the ball at me because no one really knew me yet. I’m not sure if they even knew I was playing. I was probably just running around thinking I was part of the game.
After about five minutes of this the second grade teacher, who had playground duty that day, came and grabbed me by the arm and led me around to the other side of the building.We had separate playgrounds for K-3 and 4-6 grades. The other side of the building put me on the big kids playground. She gently but firmly told me to “stay where you belong.”
The same thing happened the next day in spite of my appeals that I was where I belonged. Day two brought a warning that I would be brought to the principal’s office if it happened again. I didn’t really know what to do or what to say, or to whom to say it, so I didn’t say anything.
Day three came and, as promised, rather than grabbing my arm and leading me around to the big kid’s side she led me to the office. In ever increasing volume as she spoke she explained to the principal what had happened over the last three days.
The principal had no idea who I was but simply asked me three questions: What is your name followed by what grade are you in and lastly, who is your teacher? The principal pulled out my file. He assured the embarrassed teacher that I belonged on that playground and she apologetically assured me it would never happen again.
While we are always encouraged to not be judgmental we all are whether we like it or not. The Coronavirus has placed us in a time of great uncertainty. Uncertainty causes fear to dramatically increase and makes us do irrational things such as hoard toilet paper.
We all want to be right. When we are right there is no need to ask any questions.
It takes courage to set aside our judgments and wonder if there might be more. Courage calls us and requires us to become curious and to ask questions.
When have you rushed to judgment and found the end result not what you thought it was?
Do you have the courage to step back from your judgments about that co-worker or customer or boss or neighbor?
What questions do you need to ask right now in your life?
Have a STRONG and COURAGEOUS day!
Looking for a speaker for an upcoming event? I’d love to be that guy. You can reach me at dave@cultivatecourage.com or 952-200-7499.
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Powerful story. Thanks for sharing.
Thanks, Sundi Jo! I appreciate your comment!
Dave, you have taken an event in your life – one that seems like it would be hurtful for you – and turned it into a positive lesson for others. Thanks for courageously sharing your story.
Thanks, Darren. I don’t remember it as a hurtful situation. I remember it more as a confusing situation. As much as I tried to tell her I was where I belonged she didn’t listen. As an adult I can understand why she thought what she thought. I am growing in my ability to ask questions before rushing to judgment!