“True behavior change is identity change.”
As a young boy I used to love to watch Superman on tv. In vibrant black and white, Clark Kent would find out about someone needing his help. Immediately he would find the nearest phone booth. Almost instantly Kent would come out of the relic of days gone by as Superman! Off he would go to save a dog, or a person, or maybe even an entire city. Clark Kent changed his identity to Superman!
The quote at the beginning of this blog comes from a book I am reading titled “Atomic Habits” by James Clear. The premise to this portion of the book is that if we want to develop good, or better habits, or eliminate bad ones, we have to create a new identity for ourselves. We have to see ourselves differently.
An example he uses in the book regards two people who are trying to quit smoking. One is asked by a friend if they would like a cigarette. The response is, “No thank you. I’m trying to quit.” The second person is asked the same question but says, “No thank you. I’m not a smoker.” Person number two is seeing themselves in their new identity. Person number one uses language that sounds skeptical at best about whom they want to be. Yes, the distinction is small but the mindset change is huge in creating a new identity.
In step 2 of my book “Cultivate Courage“ on how to change our identity from one of fear to one of courage I talk about the need to see our fear differently, to get our fear to work for us rather than against us.
Much of this requires us to have the courage to examine our self-talk much like Clear does in Atomic Habits. Fear in our lives is like kryptonite was to Superman. Fear becomes a bad habit, a default position that we simply accept. It takes courage to step back from our fear and examine how we got in that state and why we stay in that state. It’s hard work. It’s no fun. It’s easier to stay where we are even though we want more.
Changing our identity requires us to take action. Clark Kent didn’t become Superman until he went into the phone booth. Moving from fear to courage requires us to take action.
The first thing we need to do is to begin to think differently about ourselves. I still struggle to think of myself as an author. I AM an author. I have written a book. People have purchased my book. People have read my book. People have asked me when I’m writing another one. I must admit that I still cringe just a bit when I am introduced as an author. My identity needs to change on this in how I think of myself.
How do you need to think of yourself differently today? Do you have the courage to step back from the routines and habits of your life to really examine how you see yourself?
I’d tell you to go find a phone booth if you’re looking for a place to begin your journey to a new identity, however, since your not likely to find one I’ve got another idea. I’d highly recommend both books mentioned above. Both are linked to their respective pages on Amazon.
As Superman would say, “Up, up, and away” to a more courageous life!
Looking for a speaker for an upcoming event? I’d love to be that guy. You can reach me at dave@cultivatecourage.com or 952-200-7499.
You can now buy the book “Cultivate Courage” on Amazon! https://amzn.to/2N2PBVJ
