When I was a young boy I remember fighting with my brothers over who would get to use the candle snifter to extinguish the flame on the candles after we had company. Sure, we could have just blown them out but using the snifter was more fun.
Back in the day, when we had special guests, mom would always light two candles on the dinner table. The candles were placed in matching flower, ceramic candle- holders. Two candles and three boys was only asking for trouble, wasn’t it? I do remember her re-lighting one of the candles so we all had a turn to use the snifter.
When it was my turn I would slowly bring the snifter down over the flame and then lift it back up again. I was trying to see how far I could go before the flicker of fire would go out and the little wisp of smoke would rise up into the air. The margin of error between keeping it lit and permanently snuffing out the flame was miniscule. Go just a bit too far and, poof, the flame was gone. Extinguished.
Recently, I looked up the definition of the word discourage. It literally means to extinguish the courage of another. Just as with the candle it is snuffing out one’s desires, dreams and hopes. Wow! Having been both a deliverer and receiver of discouragement I am impacted by that definition.
Not long ago, I was at the t-ball game of my five-year old grandson, Josiah. After each game it is the custom of his three-year old brother to go out on the field and run around as he had seen his big brother do. This time I went on to the field with him. I expected to see him run the bases as the players had. He didn’t. He just randomly ran around on the dirt infield.
I called out to him, “Troy, let’s run to first base!” That’s what you’re supposed to do when you run on a baseball diamond. Immediately, I was aware of my discouraging message and kept my mouth shut. He must not have heard me as he continued to run, fortunately, with great abandonment.
Certainly I had no intention of being discouraging. However, I realized there was no need for him to run the bases as the players had done. He just wanted to run. There was no need for me to extinguish that. I watched him with a different eye. He wasn’t doing anything wrong anymore. He was just having fun running. You could see it on his face.
Many years ago, a gentleman played a violin and sang a song in our church on a Sunday morning. He had sung solos in our church before and I always enjoyed listening to him. The song was titled, The Touch of the Master’s Hand. I encourage you to watch the video. His voice and his playing of the bowed instrument were very moving and encouraging for me. So much so that I wrote the guy a thank you note expressing my appreciation to him for sharing his gifts through the song and performance.
One Sunday, not long after he’d performed, the man’s wife came up to me.
She said, “I just want you to know how much your note encouraged my husband. He actually cried as he read your words. He said that in all the years he has sung in church no one as ever sent him a thank you note. I think he’s probably read it a hundred times since he received it. Thank you!”
To say I was moved by her words would be an understatement. Here I was simply thanking him for what he had done for me. He had encouraged me and through my note I had encouraged him.
To encourage means to mentally support; to motivate, give courage, hope or spirit.
Likely, we have all been discouragers and encouragers in our lifetime. As well, we have all been discouraged and encouraged in our lives by others.
As you go through your day today, and through the rest of this week, what kind of courager will you be? Will you dis or will you en the people you encounter? Are you an extinguisher or an igniter? Either way, you’ll have an impact!
Have a safe and happy 4th of July!
Do you need a speaker for an upcoming event? I’d love to be that guy. You can reach me at dave@cultivatecourage.com or 952-200-7499.
