Several years ago I was blessed to have the opportunity to do some work occasionally for a company called Top 20 Training.
They work primarily in schools but also with businesses on simple but profound principles that will make a dramatic difference in how one lives in every area of their life.
I remember the first time I had the chance to be a part of one of their workshops and they asked everyone in attendance if we were a character in a story going on around us or if we were the author of our own story. Wow, what a great, but for me very convicting, question! I’m not sure I heard much else they talked about that day as I tried to wrap my head around the question and come up with an answer where I was the author. I couldn’t. For the most part I was a character in what went on around me.
A few years ago I read a book titled, A Million Miles in a Thousand Years, by Donald Miller. The book is a self-examination of the author’s life as he works with a couple of filmmakers on writing a screenplay from his book, Blue Like Jazz.
As he goes through the writing process with the filmmakers he discovers that his life is really quite boring even though he has written a book that is now going to be made into a movie. Miller decides to attend a writing workshop on story development with another author friend named Jordan. Jordan absorbs the material from the workshop much easier than Miller and states very matter of factly to Miller, “A story is a character who wants something and overcomes conflict to get it.”
Again, wow! This is really making me process what is it that I want and what am I willing to do to overcome it? Rather than simply being a character that waits for things to happen, a path I have taken far too often, I need to write the story of what happens to me, the character in my story.
Over the last few years I have become very aware of self-limiting talk in my own mind as well as hearing it from others. Things like:
I could never do that
Someday I’ll (fill in the blank)
I wish I could (fill in the blank)
and so many, many more.
So often those things that keep us in the character role of the story going on around us is our unwillingness to overcome the conflict to get what we want. Overcoming the conflict is about facing our fears. We are unwilling to do the hard work or confront the bully or step into the unknown. We remain uncomfortably comfortable. We know we want something different but aren’t willing to pay the price.
I have learned from Donald Miller that virtually every movie or television show is about a character who overcomes conflict to get what they want. When we watch those movies or shows we cheer both quietly and loudly when the character overcomes whatever it was they were facing. We can relate. We want to overcome and face our fears as well.
Characters stay the same. Authors overcome.
The characters that lead lives of wanting more have a story that is being written by someone or something else and they are willing to simply settle for what comes their way. Authors create their own path.
Do you have the courage to be the author of your story and overcome the conflict in your life? Or, will you be content to be a character in what goes on around you?
Have a STRONG and COURAGEOUS day
Do you need a speaker for an upcoming event? I’d love to be that guy. You can reach me at dave@cultivatecourage.com or 952-200-7499.
You can now buy the book “Cultivate Courage” on Amazon! https://amzn.to/2WG8AGQ
This is an edited version of a post that originally ran on January 26, 2015.
RIGHT ON my friend!!! There is so much I would love to add to this….but I’ll spare you. This reminds me of my talk that I will be doing on March 5th at the James J. Hill Center. It’s my talk entitled T.O.P. Living: Creating the destiny you desire professionally & personally. Bottom line: we are either victims of a fatalistic “destiny” or are the creators of it! Thanks for posting this brother!!!
Thanks so much, Anthony! You are right, it is a bottom line decision. Wish I could be at your event on March 5th. I’m sure you’ll hit a home run!