It’s getting to be that time on the calendar again, the drawing to the close of one year and the pulling back the curtain on a brand new one.
For many people I know they go through an intentional process of reviewing the past year and preparing for the new one.
They review the goals they achieved and what worked. They look at those that didn’t come to fruition and explore why.
Setting goals is something I have rarely done and when I did I wasn’t very successful at achieving them. For me, much of life just happened.
I didn’t grow up in a family that modeled goals and achievement. Please know that I had great parents and great brothers but this just didn’t go on in our household.
It seems as each year draws to a close over the last decade I have become more aware of failures in this area and a desire to change. Instituting new, good habits is just as difficult as eliminating bad ones.
Part of my exploration of self-reflection is examining why this has been such a challenge for me. One area I have been well aware of for many years but didn’t really share with anyone until just a few years ago centers around my father’s sudden passing when I was 14.
It seems all Cornell men die young, therefore, Dave will die young. I never knew my grandfather on my dad’s side because of his passing at a young age just as my father did. I assumed I would die before I was 50 and lived my life with an attitude of “why bother” since I wasn’t going to be around long there was no need or purpose in setting goals for the future.
I also am aware that on some level I may have a fear of failure or success. If I don’t set any goals then I won’t be disappointed when I don’t reach them and I also won’t let anyone else down.
So, here I am ten years of life beyond my self-imposed anticipated demise and each year the yearning to live an intentional life grows achingly stronger.
I am a huge follower of Michael Hyatt who is a leader in personal leadership development. As I explore jumping into the deep end of the goal setting pool for 2015 I am soaking up a lot of resources he has to offer on his website.
Hyatt has a free three part video series that I have been viewing and taking notes on and I would encourage you to explore this if you struggle with setting and fulfilling goals.
I have a great deal of head knowledge about the science of goal setting and how goal setters are dramatically more successful both emotionally and financially than people in my boat. I need to turn this head knowledge into action.
So, where does this all lead? I need your help.
As someone reading my blog either regularly or for the first time, are you a goal setter? If so, what is your process and what has worked for you?
If you’re not a goal setter, does that even bother you? What have you tried that didn’t work and what is keeping you from trying again?
Thank you, in advance, for helping me wrestle this beast!
Philippians 3:13-14
Have a STRONG and COURAGEOUS day!
What a fun blog for this time of year. My process started as a personal self assessment of my year in 1984. I was frustrated that my supervisor did not do reviews so I decided to do my own as a way of taking time out to reflect and look forward. As time has moved on I have continued the practice, however, sometimes it is every 2-3 years vs. every year. I have boiled the process down to 4 questions: What am I most proud of accomplishing this year? What were my key learnings? If I could do the year over again, What could I have optimized better? What “unfinished” business am I taking with me into the new year to complete. what are the new things I want to accomplish and WHY? The questions are all focused on the “positive” vs. the negative. For example I ask how I could have optimized better not what went wrong. The “unfinished” business question is designed to bring closure to the year and to be intentional about what I take forward. It is a simple process that can actually be done over a “pot” of coffee on a weekend morning and then revisited a week later to ensure you have been complete. I file them in a three ring binder and have them since I started in 1984….fun to revisit too.
Nancy, thank you for a thoughtful, concrete response. I really like the idea of the four questions. It provides a great road map of how to go through a process of review of the past year and preparation for the new year. I know a lot of people are journalers and use their journal as a tool to help them remember the events of the previous year. Is this something you do as well or what do you do to help you answer the four questions?
I used to be an avid journaler….now not so much. I do have a file that I put notes in randomly thru the year but it is just a convenient collection place. I still keep a paper calendar in conjunction with my electronic calendar to help me remember the year. I have found that it helps me look ahead-month at a glance- that the electronic form does not. Then it serves as my log of the year. I have them back to my first one in college. It has been a huge help as you look for trends in your life. So I just page thru each month and remember the key events of the year, then add my notes from the calendar and review the goals sheet I wrote from the previous year.
Again, I like exploring the idea of a paper calendar with the electronic one. There seems to be something more concrete about that. I will process that one as well in this journey! Thank you, Nancy!
Hi Dave. I have one rule of thumb about setting goals. That rule is “Put your goal in pen and your timeline in pencil” Life happens, and if you follow that rule you can set a goal but not crash if the timeline needs to change. We need to give ourselves grace when trying to achieve! It also makes us easier to live with. I would have never finished school if I didn’t allow my timeline to change.
Cindy, your rule of thumb is a great one! I think that may be one of the challenges I have faced over time with goals. If I miss a deadline on a goal I seem to just let the whole thing drop. Grace with ourselves is a far bigger deal than we make it out to be! Thanks, Cindy!
Hey brother! Great blog! I really identify with you in this area of goal setting. I wish you the best on this journey!!!
Thanks, Anthony. It’s good to hear I’m not alone in the boat but we need to work on getting into a different boat! I wish you well in your journey also!