“You don’t have to be afraid of the things you were afraid of when you were five!”
Those are the words of Lionel Logue, speech therapist to Prince Albert, as he worked to help the second heir to the throne overcome his stuttering issues. You can see the whole story in the 2010 film The King’s Speech.
As Logue begins to work with Bertie, as he is affectionately called by some during the movie, he asks him about his childhood. The prince tersely replies to him that he is not there to talk about his youth, only the mechanics of fixing his speech patterns.
Lionel appeases the prince to begin with. As their relationship develops, however, the prince begins to open up about the trauma he experienced as a child. This suffering came at the hands, or voice in the form of constant belittling, by his father, King George V.
While we may not realize it, or choose to acknowledge it, our fears and traumas from childhood have a profound impact on us as adults. Often times we aren’t even aware of these traumas. However, just as in the movie, we have deeply painful memories that have impacted us. Those childhood memories often drive our behavior as adults.
In 2017, Dr. Andrea Brandt wrote an article for Psychology Today titled, “4 Ways That Childhood Trauma Impacts Adults.” If you read the article and then watch the movie you’ll see all four ways play themselves out in the man who would eventually become the King of England.
Here are the four ways: 1. The False Self, 2. Victimhood Thinking 3. Passive Aggressiveness, 4. Passivity.
I’m not going to spend any time on any of the first three. I encourage you to read the article and watch the movie to discover them for yourself. While all four of them have played, and sometimes continue to play out in my own life, passivity is the one I can relate to the most.
While I am much better than I used to be, and, hopefully, getting better all the time, I am an expert at waiting for things to happen. My approach has often been to be a reactor after the fact. That is a fear-based approach to life.
Last year I came up with a quote that I think about every day. “Fear calls us to be spectators. Courage calls us to get in the game.” Courage rejects passivity. Courage requires action. Courage is a daring approach to life.
At a critical point in the movie, Logue says to Bertie, “I’m trying to get you to realize you needn’t be governed by fear.”
Do you lead a life governed by fear? Are you leading a life based on who you think you should be rather than who you are? Do you feel like a constant victim with seemingly no control over your life? Do you struggle to express your true feelings? Are you holding yourself back and being your own worst enemy?
What will you do courageously today to begin to rule your life? Stop being a spectator and get in the game!
Have a STRONG and COURAGEOUS day!
Do you need a speaker for an upcoming event? I’d love to be that guy. You can reach me at dave@cultivatecourage.com or 952-200-7499.
You can now buy the book “Cultivate Courage” on Amazon! https://amzn.to/2BUrgJY
