A statement I often hear from people either when I’m coaching them or when visiting with them after they’ve heard me speak is, “I don’t know that I’d really call it fear, but…”
In order for us to lead a more courageous life we must first be willing to admit that we have fear. Denying it, or downplaying it, only continues to hide it, bury it, or avoid it.
Dr. Phil says, “You cannot change what you don’t acknowledge.”
So true! The first step in my presentation on courage is Name Your Fear. None of us will ever become more courageous until we get the fear card on the table. Admit it. Stand before it face to face. Stop running from it!
Paul Gustavson is a friend and mentor I met a few years back at the SCORRE Conference. Paul is a business owner and founder, author, creator, and all around good guy. In his book, Leaders Press On, which you can find on Amazon, Paul addresses The Twelve Fears.
With Paul’s permission I share with you his list.
Leading up to his list Paul states, “A person of boldness (courage) starts by being that person willing to get out of the box and take action despite being scared. The key is to let go of the grip of the menace and take control of the fears and limiting beliefs.”
Here’s the list. Which one, or ones, are keeping you from being your best?
- The Fear of Adversity – Being afraid of the difficulty, hardship, turmoil or danger that we might eventually face.
- The Fear of Conflict – Being afraid of the disagreements, battles, or struggles that we might face with others.
- The Fear of Change – Being afraid of the unknown future, facing something new, or leaving the comfort zone.
- The Fear of the Process – Being afraid of the commitment, effort, work, or time required to complete a job or finish a journey.
- The Fear of Rejection – Being afraid of being put down, judged, criticized or ridiculed. This is a fear we all have silently faced.
- The Fear of Vulnerability – Being afraid of being revealed, being exposed, being found out as somebody who is weak or less than perfect.
- The Fear of Being Alone – Being afraid of loneliness, not belonging.
- The Fear of Pain or Injury – Being afraid of getting injured, getting hurt ( or getting hurt again if it happened before), or experiencing agony.
- The Fear of Failure – Being afraid of failing, messing up, not being perfect, not getting it right.
- The Fear of Success – Being afraid of the responsibility, attention, or the change that might happen if we are successful.
- The Fear of Disappointment – Being afraid of not living up to the expectations of ourselves or others.
- The Fear of Death – Being afraid of doing something – making a decision – that proves to be fatal, either literally or figuratively.
WOW! Paul, thank you for this great list. For me, two of these jump off the page immediately; Fear of success and fear of disappointment.
C’mon. I’ll bet you can recognize yourself in at least one of these fears! What impact are those fears having on your life as well as on the lives of those around you?
In the words of John Wayne, “Courage is being scared to death but saddling up anyway.”
The first step to courage is acknowledging your fear!
What will you do today to face your fear and begin a life of courage?
Have a STRONG and COURAGEOUS day!
