As I was pulling up to his house I saw my friend, Glenn, washing his car.
As I pulled in behind him I jokingly and flippantly said, “When you’re done with yours you can go ahead and wash mine too!”
It was late summer of 1977. I was playing basketball with Athletes in Action, a Christian basketball team based in Indianapolis, IN.
Glenn was one of my teammates and lived in a house with several of our other teammates. I lived in an apartment a couple of miles away with some others.
I don’t remember exactly why I went over to Glenn’s that day but it was just a quick stop to drop something off or pick something up from one of the other guys.
After about ten or fifteen minutes I walked out the front door and saw Glenn getting ready to hose down my car to start washing it.
“Hey, Glenn,” I said, “You don’t really have to wash my car. I was just kidding.”
Glenn was nearly a full foot shorter than me yet his stature was never measured by his height. Glenn was truly a man of great character and it showed in everything he did including his response to me that day.
“DC,” he stated, “I’m happy to wash your car. It will only take me a few minutes and I’ll be done.”
“Glenn, I was just kidding,” I reiterated. “You don’t need to wash my car.”
Then Glenn said something I’ll never forget. If almost anyone else had said it I would have laughed at it, but coming from Glenn, because of who he was in everything he did, I knew he meant it.
“DC, don’t deny me the opportunity to serve you by washing your car. It would bring me great joy to do that for you.”
Whoa! To this day I still remember two very distinct feelings I experienced in the same moment as he completed his sentence.
First, I felt incredibly uncomfortable to have someone serve me doing a simple, every day task which I could easily do myself with absolutely nothing expected in return.
Secondly, I felt incredibly guilty at my own lack of desire or willingness to serve others just as Glenn was serving me.
I have always struggled to let others help me or serve me for a variety of different reasons.
Among them is a sense of pride that why should I let someone do something for me that I can certainly do myself. Related to that is a sense of offense that says who do you think you are that you think I need your help.
We also live in a society that says you don’t get anything for nothing. Our culture says if I do this for you then you will and must do this for me. There is always an exchange for everything.
Often when that exchange is made one party or the other is hurt or offended because they didn’t feel they got fair value in the exchange. The other party got the better end of the deal and we got screwed.
Glenn didn’t want anything in exchange for washing my car that day. Truly, what he received that day was joy for serving me. That was the exchange.
I was uncomfortable in that exchange.
Many of us are great at serving. Far fewer of us are any good at all at being served.
Courage is about doing things that make us uncomfortable.
Do you have the courage to let someone serve you without feeling the need to pay them back in some way?
Do you have the courage to accept that whatever they did for you gave them great joy in their service and that is the exchange?
I’m working on this one but it’s hard. I need things to be fair. I need the scales to balance and when they don’t I’m uncomfortable.
John 13:1-17
Have a STRONG and COURAGEOUS day!
Dave, my feeling evolves around “guilt”, like I feel guilty for letting someone do something for me, and like you a bit of “hey, who are you to feel I need something done” attitude. It is always difficult even to this day to be served, even by those that love me. Is it Courageous to just sit and do nothing after a nice dinner?
David, you sure do strike nerves and create some very interesting questions about our lives…Thank You for taking your time to be open and honest and allow us to see our lives through your life!