There are many variations to this story but the most recent I came across was the story of tethered elephants.
The legend goes that when elephants, in some form of captivity, were young they were tethered by a chain to something that could withstand their strength and keep them in place.
As they grew older and stronger they would not make any effort to break away from their tethering even though they became, at some point, strong enough to do so.
In basic psychology terms they were “conditioned” to stay in place.
As I have been on my journey of growing in my own courage as well as encouraging others to grow in courage I have become very aware of my own tethering and conditioning going back to my childhood.
I remember as a young boy, probably 8 or 9, coming into the kitchen after having played catch with my dad in the backyard.
As I entered the kitchen I declared enthusiastically to my mom, “I’m going to be a major league baseball player when I grow up!”
My mom’s response still echoes loudly in my mind, “Oh, David. Those are things that happen to other people. They don’t happen to people like us.”
I can think of multiple instances over the course of my life where I have sold myself short and those words echoed in my mind as I stood before an opportunity.
My mom gave me lots of positive messages as well but for some reason I hung on to that one.
Now, please understand, this is not an indictment of my mom. My mom was an amazing, but very cautious woman. I’m sure she was trying to protect me from a big letdown later in life. Mom never woke up in the morning and asked herself, “How can I wound my kids today?”
As a parent of two myself I’m sure I have said things with great intention that didn’t come out the way I wanted or were received in a different way than intended.
That being said, those words have kept me tethered for much of my life.
I have all too often allowed those words to be an excuse. My journey of the last several years is working, and slowly succeeding, at removing the chains.
I believe it’s critical that we have an awareness of the messages that have impacted our lives.
Ignorance keeps us stuck. Awareness allows us to move forward.
Often times those messages can be positive and encouraging messages as well. Seattle Seahawks quarterback Russell Wilson tells a great story of a positive message that has driven his success that he received from his dad.
When those messages aren’t positive having an awareness of them will help us to begin to work through them and overcome them.
Are you aware of the messages that have impacted you growing up? Perhaps they came from a parent or a teacher or a coach.
Do you have the courage to uncover the messages that have tethered you?
Do you have the courage to begin to overcome those tetherings?
What can you accomplish if you deal with your tethering?
Ephesians 4:29
Have a STRONG and COURAGEOUS day!
I remember my mother telling me, “Don’t be too good at it because then people won’t like you.” Don’t remember what “it” was but as a 7th grader I craved friendship so I didn’t want to do anything that caused people not like me. I took her message to heart. In one way, her message is true – when you reach beyond the limitations of your friends or family you may incur ridicule or shaming for doing so.